Bingo! Chatroulette Party with Heidi Konnt Cums Highly Recommended!

The bible of psychiatry, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders-IV (the DSM, currently in its fourth edition) classifies voyeurism as a psychosexual disorder. It is defined in the manual as the practise of looking at “unsuspecting individuals, usually strangers, who are naked, in the process of disrobing, or engaging in sexual activity”. Now, exempting the “unsuspecting individuals” part, Chatroulette must be the biggest forum for voyeurs known to man. And it’s just a mouse-click and a webcam configuration away folks!

But what do the compilers of the DSM know anyway? They have a long and chequered history of “disorder” classification; homosexuality was only declassified in 1973, back in the sixth revision of the second edition of the manual. What is and what isn’t a “disorder” has always been up for debate. Where voyeurism is concerned, the last decade has seen both social and technological change which would classify us all by the standards of 1994 when the DSM-IV was published. Reality TV made voyeurs of us all back in the late ‘90s but we’ve also seen porn go mainstream, an increased appetite for celebrity gossip fuelling the reign of the paparazzi and, of course, the rise of social networking which gives us access to the mostly-inane but nonetheless intimate details of the lives of our online friends. Chatroulette is just another symbol of a globalised society of voyeurs only too happy to ‘broadcast themselves’. It pairs webcam chat technology with the randomness of a roulette game, so you end up face-to-face with other voyeurs from around the world.

Now, when I say face-to-face what I mostly mean is penis-to-penis. For Chatroulette, as many of the worlds great technological innovations before it, has well and truly been embraced by the young male. Of all the folks we ‘chatted’ with at Dublin’s first Chatroulette night in The Sugar Club earlier this month, I estimate at least 90% of them were boys with their hands down their pants. Hosted by German-Irish drag diva Heidi Konnt, the night takes Chatroulette off the stained sheets, out of the bedroom and into the club. Inspired by similar events in New York, Heidi and organisers come up with a show which might just be the funniest thing on in Dublin all year. It’s not for the easily shocked and if you’re the type of straight man who thinks that seeing an erect penis will instantly turn you gay then it’s probably not the place for you.

Konnt is not your average drag queen either. Sure she wears make up and a sequin dress, but the dress is half falling-off and her make up is more clown than glam. The reactions to her appearance from the people she meets on Chatroulette (let’s call them “chatters” for the sake of brevity) is one of the best things about the show. And when she steps aside from the webcam to reveal a club full of onlookers the instinctive response of many is to hit the NEXT button - those who stay on are the brave.

Lest the ‘Nexting’ by freaked-out chatters get boring, the audience are invited to play Chatroulette Bingo, which has to be the most entertaining version of the game this side of Trabolgan. Instead of the traditional numbers, we have symbols which are crossed off whenever their appropriate match appears on screen.

Heidi also entertains with song throughout the night. But lip-syncing to Aretha Franklin this ‘aint. Instead, she performs original material, such as the hilarious ‘Headbrook’; her interpretation of Mícheál O’Súilleabháin’s ‘Woodbrook’, except about “the tyranny of headshops”. Social satire comes in healthy doses. Konnt-creator Neil Watkins has a background in theatre and always wanted his alter ego to be someone who could “entertain, challange and shock… I wanted Bill Hicks. I wanted social commentary…. I’ve created a monster and she’s not going anywhere despite having tried to kill her several times. She’s such a konnt.”

One of the funniest parts of the 3rd July party was an appearance by Chatroulette legend Steve Kardynal. The 18 year old from Michigan has become a minor celebrity because of his Chatroulette parody of Lady Gaga’s ‘Telephone’. He dialled-in live on the night and gave us a full performance of the song.