Tom Mac Intyre’s Only an Apple has its world premiere at the Peacock Theatre in the Abbey. In this fantasy infused tale of a near-outgoing Taoiseach on the brink of being overthrown by Chief Whip McPhrunty, the Taoiseach sees an opportunity to dispatch his would-be dispatcher when he is visited by two mysterious women from days gone by - Queen Elizabeth the First and Grace O’Malley. The play begs the question, are these women sexual playthings or more sinister demons with ulterior motives?
I am stuck when it comes to reviewing this play; stuck because while I am easily able to point out some excellent moments, superb casting, genius dialogue and bewildering ideas, I would struggle to recommend this play to others. Perhaps Director Selina Cartmell should shoulder some blame. The entire play does not knit together well. It seems to play out as a selection of shorts tied together with fraying thread. Some of these shorts show sparks of insane genius - the seduction of McPhrunty by Grace is one of the finest and funniest moments I’ve seen on stage - but others delve into the pits of desperate and embarrassing farce - the ‘pussy song’ was downright stupid.
In the notes section of Mac Intyre’s stageplay he described that particular scene as ‘the musical director’s chance of immortality and should not be missed‘. I’m not sure if he has far too much faith in the strength of his lyrics (“Pussy, Pussy, Puss-puss-puss, Mistress Pussy drives the train”) or if the musical director simply lost the plot. Either way, marking the close of Act One, it was a painful way to fall into the interval.
The first half of Act Two certainly makes up for the confusion of Act One. It’s smart, funny and full of clever uses of the beautiful set. Cathy Belton as Grace, Malcolm Adams as the butler, Sheridan, and Michael McElhatton as Hislop, the Taoiseach’s press secretary, shine in three very underused roles. Unfortunately, the generally very talented Don Wycherley in the position of our Country’s leader doesn’t seem to have any belief in the role. Whether he is struggling with Mac Intyre’s complex dialogue or he just isn’t enjoying the part, he comes across as lost as the twins Antipholus and Dromio in A Comedy of Errors which closed next door in the Abbey as I watched the Peacock’s new play.
As we came close to the end, I had deduced that Mac Intyre’s play was possibly an excellent piece that suffered from an inconsistent production, but even Mac Intyre’s script seemed to lose the run of itself with a final monologue delivered by a now tired and tiring, depressed and depressing Wycherley.
Go see this for some wonderful lines:
Cultural attaches are not paid to help. Tone is their shtick.
These perambulating vulvas must be shown the door.
They enter dry as snuff from the downpour! Why? Because they are the downpour, the sunlight, the daisies, and the dove! They’re love on the hoof! Naturally, they lick each other for recreation!
Go see this for some superb performances from Cathy Belton, Malcom Adams, Michael McElhatton, Steve Blount and Marty Rea.
Go see this for the glorious set design by Dick Bird.
But do not go see this if you are seeking a coherent, satisfying piece of well staged drama. You may just walk away disappointed.
Running until Saturday May 30th, tickets are now available from the Abbey Box Office or online at AbbeyTheatre.ie.
Note: Check out Lottie’s review here.
