According to respected celebrity publication “Closer”, Charlotte Church wants to marry her long term boyfriend, Gavin Henson.
Now, first of all most would question why she would want to marry a monkey like him when there’s a perfectly charming and ruggedly handsome man like me in the world. Maybe he used the line, “I can let you see Kermit anytime you want”.
Steal my chat up lines? I’ll learn ya.
But the bigger question is, why wouldn’t this muppet worrying chav want to marry Charlotte? I’ll leave what I’d do to her to the pages of my own blog, for this is for pop culture.
Well, it’s gossip really. But that’s just the nasty name for pop culture.
This site is very popular, far as I can tell, and therefor there must be someone who might have a connection, or a friend of a friend, or a guy in the pub who once stood next to her in a queue in a chipper who can get a message to her from me.
It’s not long, or complicated and maybe I have to work on the romance a bit, but here it is:
Dear Charlotte,
I totally would.
To find out more, contact Culch and ask for Maxi.
Call Maxi Cane, that’s my name. That name again is Maxi Cane.
Yours in anticipation,
Maxi.
Help me out. This may be my only chance.
I know someone who lives in Wales. I’ll send word.
Going from what I’ve read in the gossip rags, I can’t understand why she’d WANT to marry him?
Apprently he’s quite nasty about her appearence, calling her fat (eh hello, the girl has had two babies!) and going out drinking, leaving her at home with the kids etc etc..
She’s a gorgeous, funny, talented girl…he’s a perma-tanned, body-waxing bitch who spends most of his time with his arms and legs wrapped around other sweaty men.