I reckon it won’t be long before we haven’t even “celebrated” St Valentine’s day before they start putting up the poxy Christmas decorations, stocking up on selection boxes and putting the carol songs on repeat.
Last week in Tesco they had shelves full of selection boxes.
Certain shops in Blanchardstown, Dundrum and the Square to name but a few have already started decorating, and for the last 6 weeks you could have bought any one of a large variety of Christmas puddings and cakes from Lidl and Aldi.
Today I caved.
I bought one of those delicious little chocolate snow man bastids. And I finished him off in one sitting.
Do I feel guilty? Yup.
Do I feel dirty? Yup.
Do I feel ashamed? Yup.
Not because I ate enough chocolate to sedate a bus full of PMSing women, but because I didn’t keep my attitude of “get ta fuck” where Christmas shopping of any kind is concerned and just wait until Christmas week to panic like the rest of society. But because it worked. They stocked it far too early and I bought it.
I couldn’t have felt any dirtier if I had to help Twink take a cold shower.
Get out.
I hereby bar you from Culch until you offer a full and sincere apology for that.
What did I tell you?
Don’t worry, I’ve already eaten 2 boxes of mince pies, and and working on my Christmas card list.
I have no qualms about eating Christmas food. I could happily eat Christmas dinner every day, but I’d probably explode.
Just don’t decorate the house until November 1 at the earliest, unless you are selling tickets to see your house’s light show, in that case you should have started in July.
And stop knocking Twink. She used to be nice to me.
Ate a tin of Roses last week. And I always have an Easter egg early every year too.
The problem is the customers, not the shops, they’re just giving in to demand. I suppose it’s easier on families to afford stuff like this if they buy them now, thus making their Christmas budget last three months, rather than having to pay countless January bills!
I hate your Festive Friends Cane!!! Mwa ha ha ha ha ha xx