Directly from http://www.recruitireland.com/job/clown-comhairle-nationwide/14206746/- you could be the country’s next Ceann Clown Comhairle - let’s face it, you couldn’t be any worse than the last fella!
Functions of role:
- Call on members to speak, in turn and sensibly.
- Put questions to the House in a clear and concise manner.
- Suppress disorder and enforce prompt obedience. Candidates with previous experience in crèche/children’s party planning could be an advantage.
- Occasional bell ringing may be necessary.
- This is a part-time position but you must be available to work 90 days in the year.
- Expenses will be monitored
Requirements:
- Be a long standing T.D – not Fianna Fail.
- Be able to handle the boredom resulting from listening to bullsh*t all day.
- Have a full clean driving license and own transport.
- A fear of flying will be looked upon favourably.
- Previous experience as a scapegoat is an advantage.
- To be able to turn a blind eye.
- Spouse must have own income source.
- You will be required to absorb single booking supplement in hotel accommodation.
- You must own a few hats.
Candidates must not:
- Have an unhealthy interest in horse racing- twice annual trips to Shelbourne Park Dog Track will be included in package.
- Mind flying with budget airlines- you will have to pay your own baggage and check in charges.
- Claim for sleeping aids when abroad- you will be supplied with pre-recorded Dail sessions for this purpose.
Benefits of role:
- Medical treatment extended to cover possible haemorrhoid development.
- Cashback service on charitable donations.
- The role enjoys elevated ergonomic chair to oversee proceedings.
- You will always have the final word.
- Any other benefits you can think of will be considered
It’s almost a pity they have to add in
Please note: this is not a genuine job ad, just a bit of fun, please do not apply for this position!
I’d want a theme tune, that’s what I’d want. A theme tune.
