Competition: The Beginners’ Guide To Twilight

Heard anything about a vampire and a teenage girl lately? If your first thought was for Buffy Summers and not Bella Swan then you’re ever so slightly out of the loop. There’s a new couple in town (that town being Forks, Washington) and they’re on to their third movie, out this weekend, so read on and brush up…here’s your 500 word bluffing guide (we’ve tried to minimise the spoilers too).

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse in cinemas today

What’s Twilight and why do I care?

Twilight is a series of books by American author Stephanie Meyer. They centre around average (well, actually kinda emo) teen and new girl in town Bella Swan and the development of her romance with hot vampire Edward Cullen. Like any good teen novel, there are obstacles to be overcome so they can be together. You care because the entire cast is made up of droolsome beauties and sometimes they run around looking fit and pensive.

Bella and Edward

Is it anything like Buffy?

Well, there are evil vampires and a werewolf, but otherwise no. Buffy was a slayer and Bella’s just a girl. Angel couldn’t go out in the sun but Edward can - it just makes him sparkle (no, really).

Do they at least have a Scooby gang?

Yep, kinda. The Cullen clan are all vamps who’ve decided not to kill humans and drink their blood anymore, they hunt animals instead. Carlisle and Esme are the ‘parents’ and Edward, Rosalie, Alice, Jasper and Emmet are their ‘kids’. Like the kind, sweet vampires they are they protect Bella from others of their kind. They can run very fast and have other super senses, like Edward’s ability to hear people’s thoughts and Alice’s premonitions.

And didn’t I hear something about a werewolf?

You did. Jacob Black was a childhood friend of Bella’s when she first lived in Forks. Now that her Mom’s remarried and she’s back living with her Dad (Charlie, local cop) Jacob’s back in her life. He’s from the local Indian reservation and he knows exactly what the Cullens are and disapproves of Bella’s relationship with Edward. Small wonder, considering the presence of vampires brings his werewolf gene roaring back to life…oh, and his serious crush on Bella.

So what you’re telling me is that some emo kid has both a vampire and werewolf pining after her?

That’s what I’m saying. More worryingly, you’ll be addicted to said slavish love triangle from the word go.

So I should see it?

You should. The third installment is in cinemas from this weekend, in fact. Check out the trailer and see if it doesn’t whet your vampitite.

Anything else?

Yep. Be aware that you’re going to have to pick a side. Team Edward and Team Jacob don’t accept divided loyalties and you’ve got to choose. I’m on Team Carlisle myself - it’s niche. Also, vampire baseball is cool.

And didn’t you say there was a competition?

I did. Clearly you’ve got a bit of catching up to do and to help you on your way, the nice people at E1 Entertainment have given us 5 copies of Eclipse to give away. If you’d like to get your reading pants on and have a free book, all you have to do is leave us a comment and we’ll pick five winners next Friday, July 16th.

Awesome.

Figured.