We’ve talked a lot of nostalgic talk on Culch this week. Memories, retro telly, old music, forgotten sweets, outdated toys, and adverts of the past. There’s been reminiscing over cringey teenage crushes, mention of the Blur / Oasis war and if that weren’t enough, a whole heap of prize giveaways. Sadly though, all good things must come to an end…and this is your last chance to win a bunch of goodies from Culch in conjunction with the many simply awesome prize sponsors who helped make Nostalgia Week a week to remember (nostalgia…remember….see what I did there?)
Today’s mission is going to be a little more difficult, because we’ve thrown in an extra bitta swag just for the hell of it, and, well, really because it’s the final competition and like a strung out nostalgia junkie you may be willing to do anything for your last chance to score and we the nostalgia dealers want to prey on that.
Before we send you off to waste your Friday with efforts toward winning chocolate and The Den goodies and movie tickets to name but some, let’s have one more wee trip down memory lane. For your viewing pleasure, here’s the countdown of Fashion Failures That Uglify Your Photos And Make You Wonder How You Ever Went Out Like That (snappy title, wha’?)
First up we have the obvious wardrobe mishap that defined the look of many a 90s kid. These beasts were everywhere. Simultaneously an item of clothing and a well-timed tug away from sure embarrassment, Adidas rip-offs were a PE day staple, could’ve used a few staples, and would indicate that you weren’t stable if they ever saw the light of day again.
Next up, and we’re not sure we shouldn’t advise just averting your eyes from this picture altogether….the offensive dollop of depressingly piss-poor fashion sense itself, barely even acceptable in its own time (like a sartorial Bono), the scrunchie. Steel your stomach and feast your eyes.
Carrying on from that catastrophe we simply had to feature the somehow-endearing (just me?) 80s trend du decade, worn by everyone from the Dallas and Dynasty ladies to Yore Ma, those no-nonsense bastions of style themselves…shoulder pads! 
If you’re still with us then take a look at the endearingly twee but undoubtedly unwearable Cluelessesque fashion that was plaid. And don’t be thinking Cher and Dion were alone in those knee socks either, they were quite the thing for a while there. 
Had enough or are you thirsty for more, as Macauley Culkin would say? Lucky for you, past fashions are quite the bottomless pit of fail. Oh, but don’t we think it looks good at the time? Didn’t we think we were the bees knees, cat’s pyjamas and God’s gift all rolled in one when we were parading around in our skirt- over-trousers ensembles and platform Spice Girls shoes. 
And though it’s straying from the subject, did it not bother anyone else that Sporty, Baby, Posh and Scary all indicate to greater or lesser degrees potential personality traits while Ginger was incongruously just a bloody hair colour?! I know, they haven’t released a song in about a decade and I’m still hung up on that minor thing. Tragic.
With shameless jumping between 80s and 90s trends and a complete lack of timeline to this endeavor, let’s press on and take a look at the sinful mess that was the all-denim outfit. B*witched were the most notable offenders and if you ask me, the haze of distracting blue is almost certainly why they didn’t last. Couldn’t have been the dubious talent and lacklustre musical offerings. Well…maybe it could. But the Irish cowgirl look didn’t help and if you adopted it, shame on you. Denim doesn’t go with denim.
Perhaps even worse than that and yet alarming prevalent for a time was the puffa jacket. Oh sure, we’ve all joked about wearing the lagging jacket off the back boiler to work of a cold winter’s morning but there are always those who’ll take things one step too far and actually do it. 
But kids it was all just frankly preamble, lead-up and sheer aside to the piece de resistance of that eclectic, eccentric period from 1980 - 1999 when a few too many people marched to their own sartorial tune and didn’t see any need for their rags to be glad. The odd puffa jacket might still be on the go; you may still own your jeans and your denim jacket even if you don’t ever wear them together; you’re probably guilty of scraping your hair back with a scrunchie when you’re giving the bathroom a good scrub and there’s nobody else home to see your shame. Lookit, you might even be giving the shoulder pads another oul run or at very least keeping a few items to the back of the wardrobe and quietly awaiting the rebirth of your favourite look be it hightop runners, sloppy large jumpers, or culottes. Some things you’ll get away with ….but who in there right mind outside of fancy dressers or music festival revellers would be seen withina country mile of a pair of neon legwarmers these days?
There you have it. A fashion rewind to induce cringing in the most stylish of dressers. Are you suddenly missing a much-loved jumper or praising God that some wise ex made your ditch your manky brown suit? Whatever you’re doing, we sincerely hope it’s not gazing down at your chosen ensemble for October 1st 2010 and ruefully thinking “huh? shell tracksuits aren’t in?!”
To the business at hand, folks. There’s just one last goodie pack of treats on offer. It’s got macaroon bars, a rubiks cube, Den goodies, DVD/CDs, double passes to Mish Mash and The Comedy Cellar at The International Bar, a double pass for a movie at Screen cinema’s 90s season and an extra bonus because it’s Friday and the last day of competition, a pair of tickets to the opening night of Strike at the Axis theatre so you can relive some of the 80s. In short, it’s frickin’ awesome. So, what do you have to do to win?
The Culch elves (mainly just Darren really) have been hard at work today setting up the email address [email protected] and we’d like to you send us some post. Whatever it’s in your heart to send. Maybe it’s a picture of you in some of those disastrous 80s and 90s fashions. Maybe it’s a picture you drew that your Mammy never did post off to The Den. Maybe it’s a picture you drew five minutes ago in MS Paint. It could be a letter, a memory, or a good old “Please Ray please please please please get Dustin to do the flap flaps and do your Irish dancing and send me a prize and say hi to Socky and Snotzer is my favourite and and and…”. If you can email it, we’ll receive it. The Den postbox is open and it’s your last chance to shine so go for it, be outrageous, be completely normal, be off the wall or on the ball. Write to [email protected] and if we like your letter maybe you’ll win the goodies. How’s that for authentic Den? You’ve got ’til Sunday at midnight!
Be aware, we might just post the winning entry to Culch.ie if it’s particularly impressive.
Last chance for the goods! And hey, get commenting, what fashion failures did I forget to mention?
Good luck!
