Oxegen: Survival Guide

We’re off to Oxegen. We were gonna write our own survival guide, but, well, this one’s pretty good, and funny, and we’re quite tired, sooo… reblogged with permission from the kind folk at Red Bull Ireland.

It’s almost Oxegen time. This rite of passage rolls around but once a year but before you pull on your wellies we recommend you take a quick look at our Festival survival guide:

You wake up face down on the grass. You are sunburnt, confused and everything you own is wet. Someone has drawn a disturbingly detailed penis on your back. A man with an obnoxiously large cowboy hat and a pair of luminous sunglasses stands over you, pointing and laughing. And to make matters worse you have slept through all of your favourite acts.

Ok, so the above situation may be on the extreme and comical end of the spectrum but everyone has at least one festival horror story to tell. You might laugh, but it could easily happen to you!
I believe it was Jesus who said: “Fail to prepare, prepare to fail”. Well, it was either Jesus or Bono.

The point is it was someone wise and its advice that all festival goers should follow when packing their bags this year. We have put together a handy festival survival guide that will help you stay warm, clean and in good spirits as you dance the night away this summer.

Your temporary abode

It may seem obvious, but the first thing you will need is a tent. Do not be tempted by the super-cheap variety being sold at a supermarket near you. They are cheap for a reason – they leak, and in the Irish climate this is a problem. I still haven’t forgiven the woman in Dunnes all those years ago who assured me that the tent I was buying was waterproof. It began raining later that night and the first droplet went straight through the outer layer and hit my on the forehead – right between the eyes. It was the beginning of what would be a long and very wet weekend.

That is not to say that splashing the cash guarantees a successful and relaxing weekend of camping. Festival folklore is littered with stories of expensive tents lost, damaged and simply left behind in the mud along with all those brain cells. The answer is somewhere in the middle. Great bargains can be found in camping shops on the days leading up to the festival season. Go for something with two layers and if you fancy camping in comfort buy a blow up air mattress – although be warned, they can be quite heavy to carry. Actually, be warned again – an adequate hand pump is a must if you are going down the air mattress route.

It’s a good idea to buy a tent that is bigger than your party, i.e. two people equals a three man tent. This will give you a bit of extra room for your bags and supplies. When you pitch your tent at the festival site it’s also a good idea to stick a flag on top to help identify it. It will make the wobbly night-time walk home through the guy rope gauntlet much easier.

You will also need a sleeping bag to snuggle up with after your legs give way from all that dancing. The best type to go for is the ‘mummy’ sleeping bags as they have an inbuilt pillow. You will also need a ground mat to go under your sleeping bag. These little gems don’t look like much but they will seriously improve your level of sleep comfort. It’s also a good idea to bring a torch so you are not left to rummage around your tent in the dark like a drunken blind man.

Some form of chair or stool is very useful, particularly if it rains. Make sure to pack them away in your tent or they will likely get stolen by some opportunist thieves. Strangely enough chairs are probably the most commonly stolen item at festivals. “In the land of the wet, the dry bum is king”. I believe that’s another Bono quote.

The bag.

A sturdy rucksack or large backpack is what you want. Definitely avoid anything on wheels as they simply aren’t built for the wear and tear of a mucky festival. Unless you can find some sort of off-road suitcase, although I’m not convinced they exist.
Clothes

Almost everyone over-packs for festivals and it can make your bag a real pain to carry. In reality, you need very little. To beat the Irish weather, bring plenty of layers, lots of socks and at least one warm top. But most important is rain gear. A raincoat or poncho along with wellies will do the trick. If you don’t have willies, bring a few plastic bags and pop them over your socks. Put your shoes on over the bags and you will have semi-waterproof feet while feeling a bit like Macgyver. Sunglasses are also important – novelty or otherwise.
Food

Food at festivals is expensive so unless you can afford to splash out on breakfast, lunch and dinner every day you need to take some with you. Anything filling that won’t go off or get soggy is perfect. You also need to bring a large bottle of water to leave in your tent. There is nothing worse than waking up with a mouth drier than the Sahara desert and realising you will have to embark on a trek to get some water.
There is normally plenty of taps dotted around the campsite, so refill early and often.

It’s also good idea to bring a cup and some plastic cutlery. The image of my friend Vinny struggling to eat some egg mayonnaise with a screwdriver is seared into my mind forever and I have not gone to a festival without cutlery since.

Toiletries

Make sure to bring a toothbrush, toothpaste, toilet roll, condoms and baby wipes. Everything else is optional. For the more health conscious among you hand sanitizer is a good way to beat the icky feeling you get after using a festival port-a-loo.

If you feel like tempting fate, bring some sun cream. Actually, sun or no sun, best advice is to get the SPF factor out regardless. Burn times in Ireland in July average at well below 60 minutes, even through the haze, so better safe than sorry.
First aid supplies such as plasters and antiseptic cream are other possible options but definitely not essential. Make sure to check the festival maps for first aid tents when you arrive.
And one final tip.

Make sure to bring a print out of the festival timetable and highlight the acts you want to see. Some festivals charge for a timetable and there’s nothing worse than missing one of your favourite bands.