Culch Lent: We Can’t Give Up… Cooking Shows

The worrying thing with admitting to something I am unable to give up is the imbalance it reflects in my psyche. Well there is no greater imbalance in my life than my compulsion to watch cookery shows – and not just cookery shows, but repeats of them. This has spiralled to such an extent that I know the dialogue of some episodes of Nigella Bites and The Naked Chef – these shows have been given the re-run treatment ad nauseum over the years and I have been there to witness it. I cannot begin to think of the shocking quantity of hours spent watching people look for carmelisation on meat, thicken chicken stock and effortlessly feed 40 people without showing them needing to load the dishwasher afterwards. I become engrossed, TV on - it’s immediately to the cookery channels, wincing with disappointment when the +1 option is not working for … There’s more

Culch Lent: We can’t give up… The Gilmore Girls

In the last of our anti-Lenten frolics, Hermia talks TV’s greatest… The Gilmore Girls Last weekend was a weekend that required a box of tissues, a couch and a constant supply of tea and movies. I snuggled into the pillows and decided to start out with the old reliable romantic movies - you know, to give me hope that I wouldn’t die alone. I tried Dirty Dancing first - it was a timeless love story - but wound up shouting at Baby, telling her that Johnny was probably riddled with STDs and that after the final epic dance scene she’d realise she had the clap. That was obviously not working. I needed a Plan B. Moulin Rouge was put on next. Usually it turns me into a sobbing mess, wailing about the beauty of true love (and Ewan McGregor) every time I watch - this would do the trick. Instead … There’s more

Culch Lent: We Can’t Give Up… Chocolate

Ah Lent. It is tradition to give up at least one thing for those 40 days and 40 nights and while I’m not the religious type, I like to say I tried. It’s been tough just trying to contemplate what to give up and while I was unsure what sacrifice I would make, I knew one thing that I wouldn’t be doing even if say, snowballs roasted in hell: giving up Chocolate. That yummy, tasty Chocolate has a hold over me that even I’m going to find difficult to describe to you. It should, in theory, be easy enough to give up something we love for a good cause. This giving-up theory obviously doesn’t understand me and Chocolate. It’s not that I don’t want to try and give it up, it’s that I can’t. Quite simply, I adore it and need it in order to function in daily life. Sure other … There’s more

Culch Lent: We Can’t Give Up… Our iPods.

My iTunes is acting up again. It’s misreading file pathways and writing over metadata. It’s refusing to talk to Last.fm’s little audioscrobbler plug-in. It’s driving me up the wall, to such an extent that I woke up this morning worrying about it and wondering why I was only four inches from the ceiling. Such is the role that iTunes plays in my life. Such is my addiction to my iPod. I couldn’t give up my iPod, not for Holy God, not for any deity. It goes everywhere with me. It sits in its cradle by my desk while I’m working. It’s stuffed into my pocket whenever I leave the house. It’s jacked up to the car stereo as soon as I sit into the car, to ward off local country n’ western radio stations, or worse, Newstalk. I will go to hysterical lengths to get it just the right kind … There’s more

Culch Lent: We can’t give up… driving

All this week we’ll be talking about those things that we just couldn’t be without for 40 days and 40 nights. Today, Sinéad’s a little mollycoddled… I came late to driving. Not late to being behind the wheel of a car, just late to driving. Jesus, I was woeful. I started learning at the tender age of 17. My first great failing was my inability to successfully ease off the clutch and onto the accelerator in anything akin to a smooth movement. Sometimes we juddered forward, more often the engine cut out. Everyone starts out like that, of course – but not everyone keeps it up for weeks on end. Eventually able to propel the vehicle at a speed at least faster than walking (an achievement, after many weeks of giving myself whiplash against the seatbelt with violent spluttering halt after violent spluttering halt), I undertook to master being on … There’s more

Culch Lent: We can’t give up… tea

All this week we’ll be talking about those things that we just couldn’t be without for 40 days and 40 nights. First up, White Rabbit’s love affair with the hot stuff… Someone once suggested that I give up Tea for Lent and I laughed in their face for 20 straight minutes long after they forgot what I was laughing at, became uncomfortable and left me stand there alone clutching my sides. HA. Give up Tea. That’s hilarious. Whilst they say that the normal human body is 70% water and 30% body goo (I don’t know, I’m not a Scientist), my body is 70% Tea. Cut me and I bleed Tea. The single worst day of my life was the 9th August 2010 - THE DAY WE RAN OUT OF TEA BAGS and the shop was closed so I had to wait until the morning. I roamed the streets, tears streaming down my face, … There’s more

Events: The Kilimanjaro Rock Event

In June, Culch’s own Jenny Foxe will be heading off on what has to be one of the biggest challenges of her life. She’s going to climb Mount Kilimanjaro to raise money for Irish Premature Babies. The funds raised from this trek will go towards providing emergency accommodation for parents who find themselves separated from their infants due to transfer to specialised treatment units, which makes it an extremely worthy cause. As part of her fundraising she’s put together The Kilimanjaro Rock Event. It’s happening in the Gypsy Rose this Friday night (24th) and features live music from The Fendermen, The Big September, The DC Experiment and Machine Gun Baby. Tickets are only a tiny wee €10 so we reckon you should go along and throw a few sheckles her way. You’ll be entertained for your trouble and there’s also a raffle on the night with some fairly deadly prizes such as … There’s more

Culch Valentine’s: The round-up

There’s a certain laziness that pervades when something is a hobby and not a jobby. Sure you’d like to write acerbic, witty commentary of a Thursday, maybe a couple of gig reviews peppered throughout your week, dash off a Photoshop of something and a funny cat on a Saturday morning. But then there’s arse grooves in the couch; long, luxurious bouts of cheese eating and your addiction to SingStar to think about. And you just can’t do everything. You’re only one person. And you’re trying God damn it you’re trying. Here at Culch Towers, every now and then we fight off the blanket of lethargy and do a wee group project to bring us all together under a blanket of lechery. And what better theme to get handsey to but Valentine’s?* We’ve been just delira with the response to our foray into personal storytelling and we’ll try to get into … There’s more

Culch Valentine’s: What love is

Hi there gorgeous, So, Valentine’s Day. Starry-eyed loser, star-crossed lover or cross-eyed malcontent, you’re bound to have an opinion on it, yes? Be it a memory, a barely-concealed urge to vomit, a poem for your other half that makes the rest of us vomit, a scribbled note on what a perfect valentine’s would be for you, a history lesson on the relics of St Valentine, an angry swipe at Hallmark, a cry for help because you don’t know your partner much better than you know your postman and you’re deathly scared of trying to shop for them or anything in between, we share those feelings and each day in the run up to the 14th one of Culch’s writers will bring you their own personal Valentine’s thoughts. With love and last-minute garage chocolates, Culch

Culch Valentine’s: The real deal

Hi there gorgeous, So, Valentine’s Day. Starry-eyed loser, star-crossed lover or cross-eyed malcontent, you’re bound to have an opinion on it, yes? Be it a memory, a barely-concealed urge to vomit, a poem for your other half that makes the rest of us vomit, a scribbled note on what a perfect valentine’s would be for you, a history lesson on the relics of St Valentine, an angry swipe at Hallmark, a cry for help because you don’t know your partner much better than you know your postman and you’re deathly scared of trying to shop for them or anything in between, we share those feelings and each day in the run up to the 14th one of Culch’s writers will bring you their own personal Valentine’s thoughts. With love and last-minute garage chocolates, Culch I went out with one of those guys that didn’t do Valentine’s for many years. Every year, as … There’s more

Culch Valentine’s: The lucky man

Hi there gorgeous, So, Valentine’s Day. Starry-eyed loser, star-crossed lover or cross-eyed malcontent, you’re bound to have an opinion on it, yes? Be it a memory, a barely-concealed urge to vomit, a poem for your other half that makes the rest of us vomit, a scribbled note on what a perfect valentine’s would be for you, a history lesson on the relics of St Valentine, an angry swipe at Hallmark, a cry for help because you don’t know your partner much better than you know your postman and you’re deathly scared of trying to shop for them or anything in between, we share those feelings and each day in the run up to the 14th one of Culch’s writers will bring you their own personal Valentine’s thoughts. With love and last-minute garage chocolates, Culch I’m a very lucky man. I’m in a long-term relationship with a woman I love and we have … There’s more

Culch Valentine’s: My secret admirer

Hi there gorgeous, So, Valentine’s Day. Starry-eyed loser, star-crossed lover or cross-eyed malcontent, you’re bound to have an opinion on it, yes? Be it a memory, a barely-concealed urge to vomit, a poem for your other half that makes the rest of us vomit, a scribbled note on what a perfect valentine’s would be for you, a history lesson on the relics of St Valentine, an angry swipe at Hallmark, a cry for help because you don’t know your partner much better than you know your postman and you’re deathly scared of trying to shop for them or anything in between, we share those feelings and each day in the run up to the 14th one of Culch’s writers will bring you their own personal Valentine’s thoughts. With love and last-minute garage chocolates, Culch A hideous chud I was. An skinny incubator of late puberty, hormones and penchant for sleeveless knitwear. Until … There’s more

Culch Valentine’s: How to be single on Valentine’s Day

Hi there gorgeous, So, Valentine’s Day. Starry-eyed loser, star-crossed lover or cross-eyed malcontent, you’re bound to have an opinion on it, yes? Be it a memory, a barely-concealed urge to vomit, a poem for your other half that makes the rest of us vomit, a scribbled note on what a perfect valentine’s would be for you, a history lesson on the relics of St Valentine, an angry swipe at Hallmark, a cry for help because you don’t know your partner much better than you know your postman and you’re deathly scared of trying to shop for them or anything in between, we share those feelings and each day in the run up to the 14th one of Culch’s writers will bring you their own personal Valentine’s thoughts. With love and last-minute garage chocolates, Culch Ah Valentine’s Day, an excuse for singles the world over to pop ‘The Blower’s Daughter’ back … There’s more

Culch Valentine’s: Darren’s Favourite Romantic Movie Moments

Hi there gorgeous, So, Valentine’s Day. Starry-eyed loser, star-crossed lover or cross-eyed malcontent, you’re bound to have an opinion on it, yes? Be it a memory, a barely-concealed urge to vomit, a poem for your other half that makes the rest of us vomit, a scribbled note on what a perfect valentine’s would be for you, a history lesson on the relics of St Valentine, an angry swipe at Hallmark, a cry for help because you don’t know your partner much better than you know your postman and you’re deathly scared of trying to shop for them or anything in between, we share those feelings and each day in the run up to the 14th one of Culch’s writers will bring you their own personal Valentine’s thoughts. With love and last-minute garage chocolates, Culch Yeah, I’m a romantic, I’m a sucker for a good tale and I’ve been known to … There’s more

Culch Valentine’s: How I learned to stop worrying and love the occasional bang

Hi there gorgeous, So, Valentine’s Day. Starry-eyed loser, star-crossed lover or cross-eyed malcontent, you’re bound to have an opinion on it, yes? Be it a memory, a barely-concealed urge to vomit, a poem for your other half that makes the rest of us vomit, a scribbled note on what a perfect valentine’s would be for you, a history lesson on the relics of St Valentine, an angry swipe at Hallmark, a cry for help because you don’t know your partner much better than you know your postman and you’re deathly scared of trying to shop for them or anything in between, we share those feelings and each day in the run up to the 14th one of Culch’s writers will bring you their own personal Valentine’s thoughts. With love and last-minute garage chocolates, Culch I used to be very righteous about sex. (More a locked knickers type than surfer-esque ‘totally righteous, dude!’) … There’s more