Sweary’s Jaw

Surreptitiously collecting Megan Fox’s “Before” photos, so you don’t have to. First off, the news you’ve been waiting for and chewing your fingernails over all summer … Derek from Crystal Swing has received, and been made “happy” by, his Leaving Cert results! I know! I was totes fretting too, what with Derek’s busy gallivanting schedule; all that leppin’ about can’t be good for the noggin nor the joints. But all that is good and sensible has prevailed, just like in the end of that movie. Downfall, I think it was called. Fair play to Derek for sitting through what all the non-Swinging children had to sit through! Fair play to him for keeping his praying mantis feet firmly on the ground! If only all of the famous childers had the same work ethic and fetching geansaí as Derek, the world, and this here column, would be that bit sweeter. Instead … There’s more