Sweary’s Jaw: Unbeliebable.

I don’t remember where I was when Robbie Williams left Take That. Taking into account that I’m from Galway, I was probably stoned in a ditch somewhere. I do remember, though, that they had to open phone helplines in the UK, so distraught were TT fans. There was mass weeping and wringing of hands. There were snotty sleeves from Cornwall to Inverness. There was live footage on reputable news shows of howling teenage girls hanging onto one another for dear life, gurning through puffered-closed eyes at the cameras. It was bloody horrible. I didn’t understand it then, and even with the benefit of hindsight, I don’t understand it now. You’d swear Paul Ince was after leaving Man Utd or something. I’m reminded of such hormonal tsunamis as the Robbie Williams Meltdown whenever I see a Bieber-bot on Twitter. I shouldn’t really call them Bieber-bots, because they’re not really bots, and … There’s more

An offer no fan of Jade Goody could possibly refuse

Want to be a star? Looking for a bit of acting work? Want to be in an up and coming film? Loved Jade Goody? I promise you this is a genuine posting over on Gumtree.com: For our friends with screenreaders: Would you like to feature in a film about Jade Goody? We are looking for the ultimate super fan. The only requirement is that you are over 18 years old or older. The person selected will receive a paid-for tattoo of the late reality star, which we will film for our production. After the filming, the tattoo is yours to keep! This a real opportunity for someone who is a genuine fan of Jade to get a chance to be part of an exciting tribute film to her. How could you possibly refuse?? As HolyMoly said “Please God, don’t let anyone be stupid or thick enough to get this done.”