Sweary’s Jaw

Surreptitiously willing those Glee girls to put their damn pants back on, so you don’t have to. So here’s the deal-ee-oh. I know I’ve been rather quiet recently re: the scandalous faffery of the more recognisable of our world citizens, but it’s only because I’ve really stopped giving a knob. I have other things to be doing, like tweeting about how shit everything is, or growing my fingernails. I’m only writing this because I worry that someone out there might actually care if I don’t. How could I tell if Lindsay Lohan wasn’t kept teetering on the brink instead of plummeting over it by googling Oirish websites for mentions of herself? HOW WOULD I KNOW? (Hello Lindsay, by the way! I’m sure that the nasty rumour about recently-single Christina Aguilera hooking up with Sam Ronson is complete hokey. In the words of the great Cher - from Clueless, that is, … There’s more

Sweary’s Jaw

Surreptitiously going through Eminem’s summonses, so you don’t have to. I have learned that there’s no point in being high-minded about a gossip column. Originally, I had planned to focus on the goings-on of our more worthy high-profile heroes, rather than on preposterous knobs like Jordan or Kerry Katona. But the problem with such a well-meaning mission statement is that … well, worthy stars don’t make absolute prats of themselves, do they? They don’t court Controversy, or indeed try to talk Scandal in for “a coffee” on the way home from the local disco. You won’t catch George Clooney dogging in the Tesco car park, or all four members of Interpol coked out of their oaks on the set of America’s Next Top Model. Basically, I’m warning you that while I shall endeavour to provide an environment free from Jordan and her ilk, I cannot always be sure that the … There’s more