I’ll Sample YOU In A Minute *shakes fist*

Well now. A spectacular splat of mud-splaying has been playing out this past week between dance heavyweights Ministry Of Sound and easy-listening-crud heavyweights Syco (Simon Cowell’s company. See what he did there?). Ministry Of Sound have signed young dance sensation Avicii, a.k.a Tim Berg, a Swedish DJ/producer who’s tipped to be the next David Guetta, though I don’t remember putting in a repeat order. Anyway, clearly somebody did, as Avicii’s been making waves with his track Fade Into Darkness, formerly known as Penguin. It’s an undemanding piece of popshine, pretty much perfect for mass consumption. According to Ministry Of Sound, while Penguin was notching up the radio play from the likes of Pete Tong, Annie Mac and Scott Mills, they had been working with Avicii in order to develop the track from a cheerful instrumental (Penguin) to a smash hit vocal (Fade Into Darkness). In the course of MOS’s seeking out … There’s more

Sweary’s Jaw

Surreptitiously hacking into Kelsey Grammer’s Facebook account, so you don’t have to. Y’know when a girl says something bitchy about another girl and all the boys go, “Ah, them girls, they’re all so mightily jealous of one another. It is hate upon hate upon lipstick”? Well, generally, the boys are wrong. It’s not that girls are especially bitchy about other girls. It’s that girls are especially bitchy about everyone, but boys tend to be less deserving of that dark attention, because they haven’t been bitchy enough themselves to attract it. So please note that it is through No Fault Of My Own that this Jaw installment is so female-centric; I did not set out to usher in the return of the Jaw on a wave of hormonal hatred and boob envy. It just so happens that female celebrities have been making disproportionate nunkies out of themselves this week. In short, … There’s more